My hairstylist and I were talking about tearjerker movies last week and got onto “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” I asked her if she’d Eternal Sunshine her ex-husband, and she said, “No, because I can tell from Instagram that he’s getting older and fatter.”
Today in the park I saw a squirrel pee. I’m not sure how I’ve never seen this happen before! Squirrels pee standing up, and the whole thing was very quick. The squirrel had an entirely blank expression on its face during the…expression.
Awesome, right? Why are so many of my blog posts about William Shatner? Why hasn’t the Google algorithm learned to ignore the fucking word fuck and its kissing cousins in my searches?