The 10 Stages Of Jeans

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1. Did I buy the wrong size?
2. I can zip these up if I hold my breath
3. Muffin top
4. Sitting on a navy-blue scarf so the dye doesn’t stain my couch
5. They fit! But I won’t put them on or take them off in front of anyone
6. Perfection
7. Starting to stretch out
8. I can wear them twice and then I have to wash them
9. Dark wash has completely faded
10. New jeans

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The Importance Of Being Frenemies With Ernest

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Have you read A Moveable Feast? Such a great book, like all bitchy little memoirs. So…why is my takeaway to wonder whether or not Ford Madox Ford had terrible-smelling breath? I’m embarrassed by the amount of time I’ve spent thinking about it. His real last name was “Hueffer,” so think about how funny it would be if it were true! Maybe I need to read a Jean Rhys biography to settle the question once and for all.

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